Ahhh...The Cottage Life!

 It was through desperation that the thought finally surfaced. I've had enough of the searching, the let downs and the attitude. Apparently you are a second class citizen now if you cannot find work. Of all the thousands of jobs that have opened since the recession, the field I was in was very narrow and there are few companies in the area.
So it is, that I will start a new business of my own. Sounds simple enough. Give myself employment. Well, simple it is not. There is so much to consider. What will be the nature of this business? Should I specialize or go general? What kind of name and logo will stand out in peoples minds? What type of marketing works and how do I get it out there? So, so much.

I had been speaking with a counselor at the local VPI which is a leading Canadian Employment, HR Management and Rehabilitation Firm. I mentioned to the counselor that I thought the best path was to start my own business, become self employed. She informed me of a new government program to assist those that want to start their own self employment or small business. She sent me to "Job Skills" through Employment Ontario to a seminar supplying information to prospects about the Self Employment Benefits Program.

Now my last dealing with the government, it took months to put together all the information they required and then, after 6 months waiting,  I received  a letter stating "they had changed the criteria and I no longer met the requirements of that criteria". I am very leery of any government programs!

This application, which goes through much faster, in just a few weeks, is also through Ontario Ministry of Training, Colleges and Universities. The Job Skills counselor meets with the applicant and decides whether the business and the person applying has merit and is eligible. They will than recommend (or not) that person to the MTCU. The applicant has 1 week to fill in a very technical and exact application that is ten pages long. If you are accepted they will assist you to set up the business and get it started. 42 weeks of mentoring and assistance! 

That is where I stand now. This is a brutal application. Not like applying for a job by any means! There is, and rightly so, a wealth of information they require to decide if you are eligible for assistance. There are things in here I never really thought of. So I am researching. Good information for me to know, obviously. They do not want anyone who has already started a business. It is OK if you have picked a name and registered the business but that's all they will allow. I am antsy to get going. The wait will be torture for two reasons. I am not to start the business. I will not find out if I am accepted until mid June. My insurance runs out at the beginning of June! I am really excited and very nervous about the prospect. Wish me luck!

 Well it seems to be the Christmas season. At least that is all I am seeing on TV commercials and hearing on the radio now. Even the Christmas Carols have started. I imagine all the stores are set up for Christmas and the Christmas muzak is playing in the elevators!
 I usually love Christmas. I don't really like the shopping, but always look forward to the season. Visiting and entertaining. Shop windows all dressed up and Salvation Army Buckets and Bells to help the poor. The big day, starting with a Christmas breakfast and the smell of the turkey cooking and the kids (now grand kids) playing with all the new things they received from family and friends!
  Unfortunately that all belongs to the Land of the Employed. I don't think I have ever been totally unemployed at Christmas before. I have been employed at jobs that were low on the pay scale or part time in my younger years but never entirely unemployed. I find this to be really depressing  when money issues are so upfront and center at Christmas time. I have been plugging along so far, pinching and scrounging, thinking I am doing the right thing by waiting to see if the funding comes through for college. Unfortunately I am unable to do the type of physical work I have done in the past. Being a paramedic and rescue personnel have destroyed my back. I am almost guaranteed the funding by the sounds of things but won't know until February. Now though I am re-thinking this.

 This waiting has put me into a huge bind. I find I can not afford Christmas. I simply don't have any cash for it. Not at all. That is, not if I want to eat for the month and try to pay bills. I am what they call "Cash Strapped".
 So I am finding that I can't "do" Christmas. I am miserable. I can't entertain so I don't want to visit. I can't shop as I don't have the money. I have to tell everyone to please not buy for me as I cannot reciprocate. I don't want to hear the Christmas Carols or see the advertisements or watch any Christmas shows. The Christmas Spirit has been taken out of my Christmas. The Grinch has once again stolen Christmas. Like it or not, Christmas costs us dearly.
So, I feel awful as I am going to disappoint the grand kids this year. I have no Christmas cheer to spread  so I already feel I am going to be lousy company. All because of our crappy economy. Caused by the greed of  money hungry individuals, institutions and banks. The ones that already had hordes of money. Modern day Grinch's! I am one of the so called "Victims of the Recession".
So this is why I am re-thinking my position.  I had worked my way up and it took years. Divorced single Mom, two children to raise but I did it and made my way up in the world to where I and my family were comfortable. All gone now.
Maybe I should give up the dream and take what ever job I can get so I can make ends meet. I don't know. Can I settle for a job instead of a career?  Again I don't know. What I do know is that if I chose that, there is no going back!